Well, my cat has my full interest…
Yes! Let’s brainstorm some costume ideas, shall we?
Quite well, deer.
The real question is, what will I dress up as for Halloween…
Today was a good day. What a good, good day today was.
My heart is a happy one.
October 4th, 2011
The day I had my heart ripped out from that of my ribcage and stomped on for the very first time. I thought I died that day, and perhaps a part of me did for I lost the soul whom I envisioned my entire life with. Naive I was to think that love was enough to last us a lifetime. Oh what a day that was - a terrible one at that. It was a long journey of bitter times full of darkness and isolation, for the light in me was no longer luminous. Even a fire was not enough to bring the light back to life.
Three years time.
I look back and think how far I’ve come. Grateful for not having given up on life that day. Fighting to bring back the light that once shone ever so brightly. I am invincible, I feel. Though my heart is still brittle - as this soul left with bits of my heart for every past lover has done the same - my heart will never be as it once was. I know I can overcome loss now. I know I am capable of surviving it all. Heartbreak has taught me that much, and for that, I am grateful for.
I know you feel as though you can come in and out of my life as you please; pick up where we left off, but I’m afraid that is not the case. The last time I let you manipulate me into taking you back, days later, you sent me a text message saying you found someone else. You made it clear that we did not belong and we agreed never to contact each other as you were now happily with someone else. I know you were never good with promises, but you assured me you would never bother me again. Yet, you keep insisting on sending me numerous messages for reasons I do not understand. Please refrain from contacting me. I do not wish to hear about incidents with your new lover and/or recurring dreams you are said to be having.
The damage has been done, now it’s time to let go.
If you want me,
You need to show me.
If I push you away,
please just push back,
and declare me as your own.
Because I’ve spent my whole life being unwanted,
And I need to be shown that I’m wanted.
So show me I don’t need to be.
And I will be yours.